The way I pray is probably different than most people, I write my prayers to the Lord, it seems to help me stay focused and I can just write my thoughts on paper better than I can keep my mind focused on talking to the Lord. I have a tendency to stray if I pray in my mind, or talk to the Lord.
This morning as I was writing to the Lord, I was ranting about this and that, I have spent a lot of my married life desiring my husband to be or do things that I think will make me happy but with his physical limitations he has not been able to fulfil those desires and I have spent a lot of time in our married life doing things by myself, only wishing he was with me. I have always prayed and asked the Lord to make him this or make him that but the Lord spoke so clearly to me as I was ranting and said, He will never make you happy but I began to argue in my thinking, Yes, Lord, he would if he only was able to do this, or only do that, or if I had this or if I had that, but the Lord said NO! I am! I am your source of real joy. I thought, yes, that is true, but still Lord if this or that, he said NO! you are looking outside of me! I am your source of joy, I am!
I began mulling over the thought that had been spoken so profoundly to me, I know I have heard it taught all my Christian walk, I have heard preachers say, the Lord is our only true source of happiness but when the Lord speaks to you personally and says it is time for you to learn this truth about me, it has a way of really just sinking in and becomes very personal at that moment.
I have spent a lot of time in my life looking to outside sources to bring me happiness, I have taken the roller coaster ride of life viewing the circumstances in life and thinking, Lord, if only this was different than I would be happy, or if that was different, THEN, I would be happy!
If we look at anything to bring us real happiness outside of Jesus Christ, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, People cannot bring us true happiness and contentment, we reach and grasp for things to bring us happiness, (if I only had this house, or that furniture, or that car) we spend money on things thinking it will bring us happiness, but in short order we are looking for the next thing to fill the void, but ultimately it just brings clutter into our lives and never fully satisfies. There is no real joy outside of relying solely on the Lord to bring us true contentment.
He never changes. Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.
This has been such a special thought the Lord brought to my mind this morning, it has been easy for me to take that ride of ups and downs because I have spent a lot of time dwelling on circumstances instead of the consistency of Christ and his promises. I pray that I will spend more time looking to him as my joy source rather than those things that are around me. Expectations ruin relations, but faith in the only true consistent source Jesus Christ, brings real peace.
A friend of mine recently wrote a post that touched my heart so much but I did not realize that the Lord was using her post to prime me for the truth he was going to teach me today. I AM ENOUGH!