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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Beginning to Understand

As I sit here and ponder what has been going on in our lives over the past 10 months, I stand amazed at what the Lord has done for us. I am beginning to understand why the Lord has taken us to this spot in our life.
Mike has been so sick for the past year and a half and has not had the insurance to have these issues worked out. It is just so expensive to go to the doctor but when we moved here to Kentucky, I went to sign my children up for the medical card and because we had no income, Mike and I qualified for the medical card, the lady just automatically gave it to us, as I have said before even our doctor asked how we had the medical card, He said "they do not give that to adults very often."
We know that God seen fit to give us that card.
Since we have had the card the doctor has made sure he has run every test possible on Mike. He has also run test on me and some issues have been revealed that I am working on getting resolved also.
I said all that to say this, God knows what he is doing in your life. Sometimes we can get so caught up in worrying what others think that we fail to stop and realize that we are bought with a price and that we belong to God and that he can do whatever, whenever he wants to in our lives. My life belongs to the Lord. If he wants to take us out of the ministry and set us on the backside of a mountain for a time and grow us, that is his choice.

One thing the Lord has taught me through this trial is all of my righteousness is as filthy rags in his sight. He has put me in a place where I am able to do very little for him but yet in his grace he has showered me with his goodness.
I have put so much stock in my works for the Lord and that I felt the more I worked for him, the more I obeyed him, the more I won souls for him, the more I, I, I, I, I,
then he would be obligated to bless me, but I have learned that even though all of those things are good, our motives need to be right. We are not to do those things to gain his favor, or to gain the favor of man, he wants us to do them because we love him. My motives have been so wrong for so long.
He has loved me so much through this trial, even when my heart was not right, even when my faith wasn't strong, even when I haven't won a soul for him, even though I have nothing to offer him. I am humbled that such a King like him would love someone like me.
I loved him, because he first loved me.......Is more true today in my life than ever before. We are not under the law of bondage, we are under the law of Grace.
Oh, the Lord wants us to serve him with our heart, not to be seen of men. Don't serve the Lord because you might get a spanking, serve him because you love him.

He has loved me like I was his only child.
When I say God has been good to me, I mean it with all my heart.
I love you Lord.

3 comments:

Luke Austin Smith said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mrs. Estep! It's encouraging to hear how God is working in your life, even though we sometimes don't understand why He does what He does. That is why we need to set our minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2), and "stand firm in the faith".

You mentioned that you felt that the more you worked for him, the more you obeyed him...then he would be obligated to bless you. I feel that way everyday to be honest with you. But one verse that always seems to always bring me back to humility would be Romans 4:4, which says:

"Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as is due"

Also in chapter 11, verses 34 and 35:

"For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid."

I am not to regard my works as a gift to God, but as is due. We all have sinned against God (Romans 3:23) and the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23). In other words, I deserve death and owe my life to God...He owes me absolutely nothing.

May God continue to strengthen you and your family's faith Mrs. Estep!

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God."

Colossians 3:1

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Stand firm in the faith,

Luke Smith

Sierra said...

"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." John 6:37

Christa Smith said...

Thank you for sharing your journey with the Lord! I love hearing how the Lord is working in the lives of your family.

Christa Smith